Previously in the Accidental Volunteer Manager: Mr. Bucket an incompetent assistant HR manager is transferred into the vacant Volunteer Management position at Hope Hospital. Working with a part time volunteer coordinator named Jan Mr. Bucket faces his first volunteer interview on his first day!
(Knock on door)
Mr. Bucket: Enter!
(a young guy enters the room aged in his early twenties.)
Alex: Good morning!
Mr Bucket: Yes. Am..you sure you are in the right place?
Alex: I think so - you the volunteer boss yeah?
Bucket: actually manager of volunteers.
Alex: Sweet - I’m in the right place then
Bucket: Good lord!
Bucket: Nothing..please take a seat
Alex: Thanks mate
Bucket: I didn’t catch your name?
Alex: Its Alex..Alex Cartwright
Bucket: Well Alex can you tell me why you are here today?
Alex: Well I was looking to volunteer at your hospital
Bucket: I see…and what do you do Alex?
Alex: Well I’m between jobs at the moment
Bucket: Unemployed then?
Alex: Yeah..But looking…thinking of working in the health field maybe some day
Bucket: In a paid capacity?
Alex: eh? Why yes
Bucket: I have to tell you straight up Alex, lest there be any confusion. We don’t pay our volunteers.
Alex: I beg your pardon?
Bucket: I’m afraid our volunteers work for free!
Alex: I’m not too sure where you are going with this?
Bucket: I am just checking that you are not thinking that you are applying for a paid position!
Alex: Ok. I’m getting a little confused here. I was after some volunteering opportunities
Bucket: and you know that means it’s for free?
Alex: are you kidding?
Bucket: absolutely young man – we do not pay our volunteers
Alex: Well excuse me for just one moment here Mr Shovel I know exactly what a volunteer is! ! !
Bucket: what what? Please don’t raise your voice and its Bucket thank you!
Bucket: it seems that your motivation for volunteering is …how do I say it in a nice way…a little self centered yes?
Alex: what do you mean?
Bucket: it just seems to me that you want a volunteering job as a leg up to a career in the health field! !
Alex: well that’s just a part of it yes
Bucket: and there are other parts?
Alex: Of course! I want to be able to be there for people who need someone to chat with or give hand and foot massage to patients or,,
Bucket: you do massage?
Alex: Yes I am a trained masseuse
Bucket: Good grief!
Alex: Good grief why?
Bucket: well I just didn’t think men were into it that’s all!
Alex: I see.
Bucket: Look I’ll be Frank Alex
Alex: so its Frank Bucket then
Bucket: what what?
Alex: sorry.an attempt at humour to lighten this strange experience
Bucket: strange for you is it Mr. Cartwright? Well let me be straight up then..Because I don’t want to waste your time and I hope you don’t want to waste mine. Our volunteers are Alchewrealistic you know….dont look befuddled…I looked it up in the dictionary today you know! We are looking for people who want to help others without helping themselves. We also want volunteers who can commit for a number of years not people who will leave just because they get a job. You are not the right fit for our organisation. I am not too sure you understand what a volunteer is so I hope you appreciate my honesty in saying that we don’t have a position for you here.
Alex: Thank you. In fact I am very grateful for your honesty Mr. Bucket
Bucket: why, I am glad that…
Alex: Because I would be horrified volunteering for such an incompetent ignorant and clueless so called volunteer manager like you!
Bucket: What what? Excuse me How dare..
Jan: well how did that go?
Bucket: I am sure we have a reject letter Jan. if so can we please send him 10 of them!
Jan: what? He seemed such a nice guy when I spoke to him
Bucket: whatever! Any messages Jan while I was busy?
Jan: actually yes – we had a chap from the Times call
Bucket: The Times newspaper?
Jan: er yes..he said he was calling the odd volunteer manager looking for some comments on International Volunteer Managers Day
Bucket: goodness! What did you say?
Jan: I said he was calling the right place if he was looking for the odd volunteer manager
Bucket: Very funny Jan I’m sure. Did he leave a number?
Jan: Of course
Bucket. Fantastic. I will call him back
Jan: do you even know what International Volunteer Managers Day is about?
Bucket: well the title makes it a little obvious Jan does it not?
Jan: and you think you can handle an interview on volunteer management with a major media outlet do you?
Bucket: Oh Jan. ye of little faith! I may have only commenced my first day in volunteer management but I come from HR remember? And look how I handled today’s troublesome interview what what?
Jan: er…indeed! Well I can’t wait to see this
Bucket: Excellent Jan…I knew I would win you over to my style of management. Now give me that number and I shall call them straight away what what?
TO BE CONTINUED……………..
How we learn from our children! This post was inspired by an act of my daughter. When her mum arrived at work today she found this...
One of my favorite quotes is “To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.” You may never know the profound...
You make a difference in the dash. Life is short. In the scheme of things this oft quoted saying must be true. Our planet has been here f...
The great beauty about the internet is that in 2016 we can still form an opinion. A free world means that we can look at a blank page and ...