Sunday, August 1, 2010

Volunteer Management Jokes

In an earlier post I argued “When there are legitimate jokes about Volunteer Management we know we have entered the mainstream” We need some sector comedy relief at times. Here are a few jokes that I have made up or adapted to make you laugh or groan. Send your volunteer management jokes to this site.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
A Volunteer manager
A Volunteer Manager who?

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked the Volunteer Management applicant “And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The Volunteer Management applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $95,000 a year”

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to equal pay in comparison to all of our managers, a package of five weeks' vacation, genuine recognition of your role, a company policy that values volunteering, financial support for your membership of your Volunteer Management Association, and a party for all staff on International Volunteer Managers Day?

The Volunteer Manager applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

have just taken an old joke and changed it slightly to apply to Volunteer Managers. Enjoy!

A new volunteer manager spends a week at her new organisation with the volunteer manager she is replacing. On the last day the departing volunteer manager tells her, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve."

Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the volunteers are complaining about lots of things - and the volunteer manager feels very threatened by it all.

She remembers the parting words of her predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" She does this and gets off the hook.

About half a year later, the organization is experiencing a huge dip in volunteer recruitment numbers, combined with a lot of volunteers resigning. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message reads, "Reorganize, Recognise and Rebuild!" This she does, and the volunteering numbers quickly rebound and improve.

Three months later, at her next crisis, she opens the third envelope.

The message inside says....

"Prepare three envelopes".

Volunteer Manager would kill for a Nobel peace prize!

1 comment:

  1. I love it DJ. I have had my laugh-out-loud for the day when my computer has gone on a sort-of strike and sending my temperament to the doldrums. Thank you+++

    But just in case you have not noticed, you have posed a bit of a conundrum in your last line - a contradiction of terms: 'killing' for a 'peace' prize...

    So I am laughing, again.


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